Dear Kristy,

I sit here writing you from my new job. It’s official, Jeff is my boss. Wow! I don’t like the sound of that. Haha. I started working this week for the church as the administrative assistant. I like it. And I really like that I am working to help justify the ungodly amount of money the church pays for my medical insurance every month. The church graciously pays for our health insurance and it is truly a blessing. But I struggle with guilt as to how much my part of the insurance bill is, but that’s neither here nor there. By working at the church I feel like I am at least contributing.

It is crazy the circumstance of my job hunting. I have applied for countless jobs and have even had several that were promising and seem to be a perfect fit. But none of them amounted to anything. Nothing. I applied many times and had several interviews to be a case manager for a counseling firm here in town. That was exciting for me because I felt like I could ‘officially’ use my college degree of counseling. Nothing. I applied for a coordinator job for a nonprofit here in town and even had connections. Nothing. I applied for two photographer jobs. One of the jobs, the head of the department was on my resume and I still didn’t get the job. The other photography job seemed to be molded just for me and the owner seemed so promising. Nothing.

It’s crazy! So I wait patiently. I really don’t want to be outside of God’s best for me. I have to admit though that is hard. It is hard to not take it personal, time after time being denied. Do I have cooties? Am I too brash? Does my breath smell like my kids say?

It always seem to come back to dependence for me and God and our relationship. I have to admit that I come from a long line of women who have the will power to do anything. That you know well. That is why I think we are friends. You kind of come from the same line of women. Just think back to our time in Monticello where we would put our game face on and accomplish anything; garage sales at the last minute, rearrange our furniture in an afternoon, clean out a child’s clothes and toys in an hour, shoot! even start a church! Haha! We were dangerous. Maybe it’s good we live half a world away.

Dependence, that is where I was going. It seems to be a never ending lesson for me. I am at the point in my life I realize it will be one I will never complete, get a final grade on and graduate. It is a daily thing. A place I surrender everyday to the Lord. If I don’t then I can find myself in the pit of despair. I am so thankful that I have the ability to look back and see how God has worked over and over again in my life. He is constant and trustworthy. He always provides despite by efforts to try to make things happen. I guess I will be at peace with learning for today that my dependence is minute by minute and never ending, despite my efforts to make it a project I must complete.

Gotta go! The boss is here. He just gave me a kiss and said he liked kissing the secretary when he came in to work. We are in trouble.

Depending on Him,

Carolyn

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Dear Carolyn,

I can’t tell you how happy I was to see you finally! Wow, can you believe it’d been 2 years? Technology these days makes it so nice, and weird at the same time. Mike’s mom felt the same effect, like we’d never left or something, because we are constantly talking and seeing videos and pics of one another. I often think about the pioneer women, like the Little House on the Prairie series that I’ve read with Abby, when they took off with their strappin’ husband and everything they could fit in a covered wagon and headed west… facing peril, silence, animals, nature, and adventure. Who can resist adventure? Sometimes I think of myself as boring ol’ Kristy, but then I think of this grand adventure that God has given us and chuckle to myself. In a new millenium way, we jumped into this grand adventure, shoveling snow, dealing with darkness (the very real kind), and cabin fever like few will ever experience (it’s a very real phenomenon). Why? To live the life God has designed for us. Sometimes the idealist in me desires for things to be grandiose and perfect. Remember when I had the audacity to say I wanna live like Paul, a life that seems extreme and wildy unpredictable. He definitely abandoned all and sold out to the Christian calling. But this morning at church, the pastor’s sermon reminded me that it’s in the ordinary, day to day life of believers where Christ is evident, and where we have impact through him. It was good for me. It’s my attitude and words when my kids are losing all sense of sanity and having hissy fits, when Mike is grumpy and grouching, when my students have meltdowns or won’t stop making animal sounds, when someone at work is grating the very last nerve that is barely hanging on by a thread … my reaction in those moments is what makes or breaks my witness for His glory. It was sobering to think of the things I’ve complained about at work and I must say I’m convicted. Thankfully, tomorrow I will have the chance to get up and do it all over again, and again, and again for as long as my days are numbered… that’s the great news, His mercies are truly new every morning and we get a do-over of sorts.

At this time of year especially, I’m full of hopes and dreams, and sometimes even regrets. Looking back at the past year has been both good and bad. I can easily focus on my failures (the seemingly endless run of bad attitude), my challenges (going back to work and leaving my sweet 2 year old in someone else’s care), my limited successes (gee, I can’t teach all first graders to read in the first semester of school nor will I ever get all the special ed paperwork right) and get depressed. It’s the focus on self that is depressing, though. When I look at who God is, how He’s been abundantly sufficient in our family, and how by His grace, we are here and thriving, I am amazed. At Him..A.Mazed.

This new year, I have thought about some goals, although I really haven’t done any in years (that nagging feeling of incomplete tasks and not measuring up just aren’t worth it). I’m reading The Happiness Project and One Bite at a Time, and these have both been good for getting me to have a little more grace for myself…that being perfect isn’t the goal, rather doing things with excellence, and trying again tomorrow when we don’t have raging success for a few days.

Reading Tsh Oxenreider’s writings about New Year’s resolutions has really helped shaped my thinking this year.

So, here’s my goals, some serious and some not so important:

• eat more veggies
• go to gym on Tues/Thur. morning
• floss daily (got a head start in December and so far have only skipped 2x)
• read through the Bible this year (I’ve yet to do this in one year, but am determined, plus I have an app for that, ha!)
• commit to and complete a marriage class with Mike (began last week)
• skinny white chocolate mocha on Friday only
• write more (blog, prayer journal, letters to my kids, etc.)

It seems like a long list, so I’m tackling a little at a time, not expecting to have this all mastered by next week! I’ll try to keep you posted! Any resolutions and reflections in your neck of the woods?

Love,

Kristy

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Dear Caro,

You are right! I know we can both say with complete confidence that God is faithful. In these big times of change, I can rest easy and be at peace knowing that He has got it all. The girls are working on memorizing Proverbs 3:5-6 right now, one that I treasure:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path.”

I am really living this out right now (to my best ability, which falls short so often). There’s a lot of uncertainty as a teacher. Not uncertainty of whether I should be a teacher right now, rather things like: Am I doing the right thing for these kiddos with special needs? How can I serve them best with such a limited view of their situations and backgrounds?… a ton of heartache and questioning over their little young lives. Thankfully, God is directing my path because my own understanding is so very limited.

Speaking of the girls’ verse memorization, I’m using this idea from one of my favorite new websites, Pinterest. I just put patterned paper in a picture frame and used window markers (or dry erase markers) to write a verse. Then when I want, I can change it. It hangs in the kids’ bathroom. I’ve gotten tons of new ideas like this on Pinterest. Although at first I was a little lot click happy… I’ve pared it down to a nightly check before bed, not hours of browsing, and not every single night even! Plus, I’ve already done several ideas I found on there, including some things for my classroom, but that’s neither here nor there.

Another new find is Inspired to Action. Boy, it was just what I needed with my new working woman schedule. I’ve stuck with getting up early enough (before the kids wake me up) and really getting lots accomplished in the mornings, including using my handy iphone app for a daily Bible reading, something I’ve always enjoyed but had let slide. I even signed up for the morning challenge on Inspired to Action, which begins next week. I can’t wait for that accountability.

I found out about Inspired to Action from my all time favorite blog, Simple Mom. What an incredible resource for me! I try to not subscribe to many things that will just clutter up my inbox and create time wasting (either deleting, unsubscribing, or clicking on duds) but this is one I love to read in my inbox (I simply subscribed to the email RSS version). Tsh is a jewel of a Christian mom and calls herself a “life hack” !

Simple Mom also directed me to Pear Budget. I’m setting mine up this weekend for our new income with the new job. We are planning a fast track for paying off debt and being free from that long list that has weighed us down for way too long.

OK, just one more to link up. If you are looking for great ideas for crafts, gifts, free printables and such, then check out Skip to my Lou. I used these bookplates and these plant picks at the end of last school year for teacher & Sunday school volunteer gifts . It’s great website when you have a few minutes to just browse for ideas or have something in mind already and just need help or free printables. I’ll probably visit it for handmade Christmas gift ideas.

I think that’s it from my new world wide web of home internet. Oh, wait, no it’s not. There’s one more, Cozi. This is a website that I have used for about a week now and use it, I do. It’s got a family calendar (you can color code for each family member), a to-do list (as many custom ones as your heart desires), and a shopping list (again, you can have multiple lists). It is proving to help me sleep better knowing I can just add something to my list  on the iphone app version, and it will be there for me later so I won’t forget it. I have separate to-do lists for work at school, work at church, general family business. I even made a list for each of the kids for gift ideas as I think of them, so I’m not scrambling at birthdays & Christmas time just coming up with last minute lists for all the grandparents and Santa.

Happy clicking, if you so desire!

Kristy

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Dear Kristy,

Well, I have thought a lot about you today! I can not believe you started your first day of school today! Your first day as an Alaskan special ed school teacher. It still amazes me how God literally put that job in your lap. I know you will be great! I prayed for you along with my big munckins today as you all started.

Speaking of my kids, I laughed at their t-shirt selections this year as we shopped for school clothes. I had to share. Sam’s t-shirt said ‘Lazy but Talented’. Oh what a statement on the first day of high school. Adelyn’s said ‘Stand Out of the Crowd’ and had some weird alien graphic on it. Oh my. I am in need of much prayer this year, for sure. It’s neither here nor there, but we are both in for a lot of changes! So thankful God is faithful.

Can’t wait to hear about your day,

Carolyn

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Dear Caro,

Can you believe it? We got internet again! It’s been a real testing period. I know there’s others out there who live without internet but I have to wonder at their main-streamedness. I mean, honestly, at times I felt all alone. It’s not a feeling I like all that much, though at the same time I felt a little prideful and set-apart. There, I admit it. I was rather proud of us. A friend told us about a little USB stick thingy that does internet wherever you take it for just $30 a month, a dollar a day. I don’t know how it works, I just know it makes me happy. I can now pin away on Pinterest, my new favorite, email work (with documents attached, can i get a woot woot?) without pecking away at the iphone ridiculously, and do other business that we’ve neglected for a while except when absolutely necessary. Do you know how long it takes to make a payment online via 3G on the iphone? Longer than our modern cultural urgency allows for, that’s for sure.

I’m sure there’s a deep lesson here, a God sighting for sure, but for now, I’m just saying hello from my trusty PowerBook G4 (whatever all that means) and listening to the hum and the fingers flying along the keys!

Write back soon,

Kristy in cyberspace at home

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